THE “BEHAVIOR” CODE
We all witness, perceive and explain our experiences in our unique way. Our daily intakes are filtered and assimilated according to our values, beliefs, memories, and previous decisions. Thus, we shape our model of the world which we express by communicating and acting in our environment. However, some techniques help us change our behavior, get the best results and attract more positive behaviors.
THE SYNDROME OF THE GREEK MISTRESS: “Do you remember when…”
Women tend to remember events that put you either in an awkward position or saddened you and bring them back into discussions as an argument. If you ladies write the incident down on a piece of paper and read it once or twice, you will immediately find that it is not worth arguing about!
NEGATIVE WORDS – NEGATIVE THOUGHTS
♦Write a negative word or a phrase and sit in front of the mirror and say it in different ways: angry, happy, bored etc. You will find that your phrase now loses its meaning.
♦Describe the person who irritated you using funny words for his external features and clothes. You will laugh as soon as you read your description, and this will relieve you.
♦Listen to a piece of music and then record the emotions it evoked.
♦Write a text about what you would like to know when you were younger.
♦Write a text for a magic mirror.
♦Create a hero with the personality traits of a person you love. His natural features, however, should belong to someone you don’t love.
There are times when we react negatively to something or someone and then we feel upset about it. Identify the feeling you want to get rid of; it could be the fear of dogs, worry about a person, or disgust for a situation. See yourself facing the situation from start to finish as an observer. Play the same scene in your mind backward; watch the scene unfold very quickly. Play it again but add some fun music like in the silent cinema. Do this 3-4 times.
Visualize the same thing happening to you now. Emotions to the stimulus should have disappeared or changed by now. If you still feel some negative emotions, repeat the exercise until they disappear completely.
Complement each other
Mutual complement is a very important technique and quite easy that helps you make any person like you. You can follow a person’s breathing rhythm, mirror their body language, or use words that he does.
You can also evaluate the person’s main sensory perception whether it is kinesthetic or acoustic and then use the same for yourself. You can do this by simply talking to the other person and paying attention to the type of words that he uses.
A person’s main sensory perception is auditory when he uses phrases such as “I’m listening to you,” “he clicked on me.” A person’s main sensory perception is visual when he uses phrases such as “I see what you mean,” “My vision is clear,” “Your future is bright.” A person’s main sensory perception is kinesthetic when he uses phrases such as “I have the feeling that this is the right thing to do,” “I have a bad feeling,” “He had a pleasant atmosphere.”
Once we understand the way our colleagues, co-workers, or customers think, we can identify their way of thinking, their values, their limitations, their selection criteria, and decisions. In this way, we will be able to anticipate their behavior, motivate them and encourage them and strengthen our influence.